Prenatal Vitamins...for men

So, you decided you are going to start TTC. You did the responsible thing and went to your OB/GYN. You got into those cozy stirrups and let her poke and prod you. She drew more blood from you than a vampire in a twilight flick could dream of, and then, finally, just as you start contemplating how many more of these visits lay in your future, she hands you a prenatal vitamin prescription, tells you about DHA and sends you on your merry baby making way.

If your OB is like mine, she told you that ideally, you'd take the vitamins for 6 months before you got pregnant, but there are plenty of women that don't even start vitamins until they are already pregnant so it is at the end of the day your choice. My husband and I didn't wait on purpose, but it ended up taking us more than the 6 months to get pregnant anyway. That whole time, I got to work every morning, poured a big glass of milk, popped the horse pill and the little yellow sidekick, and then spent the rest of the morning enjoying fish burps. The milk helped, but the fish burps were still disgusting.

The entire time I was weaning myself off of coffee and beer and suffering through never ending fish burps, it never occurred to me that I wasn't the only one that should be taking a daily vitamin. But in fact, some studies suggest that up to 40% of infertility issues in couples trying to conceive for one year of well timed sex are caused by sperm issues (low sperm count, decreased motility, abnormal shape of the sperm, etc.). [While, about 70% of all married bickering is caused by a husband who is too tired to get out of his lazy boy.]

So ladies, while you are taking care of yourself, try to encourage your husband to take care of himself and talk to his doctor about taking a daily multivitamin as well. Vitamin C, E, and Zinc, to name a few, have been shown to have a positive impact on the quality of semen and are used to treat some fertility issues. For a more authoritative site on this discussion, check out this site.

And folic acid is good for your partner too! (Check out Renee Turner's report.

Getting your guy to take a vitamin may not cure your fertility issues, but unless your doctor says otherwise, it likely can't hurt. Get him to combine that with some exercise and just maybe your trash will occasionally get taken out the first time you ask too!

FTTA!

BBT!

When we were TTC, I skipped charting all together and went straight to the OPKs. But many women swear by charting so I thought I'd give it a quick overview here. The idea behind charting is that a woman's temperature fluctuates in a predictable way before and after ovulation. By charting, you can see where you are in your cycle based on your temperature. There are a lot of sources of information out there for women who want to chart. There are your old fashion thermometers, digital thermometers, paper charts and online charts that put the magic of algorithym analysis behind your charts. But the key thing is the method. You have to take your temperature at as close to the same time every morning as possible, and you need to do it before you do anything else.

This website I think has pretty easy instructions on how to chart. Please take particular note of number 4.

4. You can take your temperature orally, vaginally, or rectally -- just stay with the same method for the entire cycle.

Yes. Please stay with the same method for the entire cycle. In fact, I'd go so far as to recommend that if you are going to change methods, please make sure to go out and buy a new thermometer first. Maybe it is just me, but I don't want to stick the same thing that has been in any of those orifices in any of those other orifices. I know there are some ladies out there who are snickering to themselves thinking about one exception to that rule, but please ladies, let's keep that to ourselves shall we?

So, I took a completely scientific poll of the ladies on the TTCAL board on thebump, and it turns out that women that are TTC get really passionate, even on Saturday morning, about charting. So, here are some of the pro's and con's of charting according to the poll I conducted yesterday:

Pro: you know what's going on Con: it's like Hotel California. You can check in anytime you like but you can never leave. -Mrs0815

Well, BBT charting with CM and cervical position charting worked for me. I will be doing it again after this pregnancy. I like knowing what is going on in my body. I like seeing what is normal for me and when something abnormal happens. I will say having to get up on the weekend was not fun but I would still do it again. - WearingRed (Congrats on her BFP!)

i like the constant obsessing and getting up at the ass crack of dawn every day of the week to take my temp. the best part is when i'm laying in bed and i have to pee early in the morning but i can't get up cuz i know it will mess up my temp and i can't temp yet cuz it will be too early and won't be accurate.

i also love the constant worrying about if my therm is correct, are the batteries getting old, is it time to buy a new one...etc.

and i wouldn't stop temping/charting for anything, i love it! - Texas77

Pros: know when your most fertile times are and how your cycle works, easy to flip to TTA instead of TTC, gives you predictability.

Cons: you know everything about your cycle so it is even more frustrating when AF shows, you know everything about your cycle so you over-analyze all your charts comparing them to you BFP one, you can predict usually to the day when AF will show and so you stress out more when she approaches and are more inclined to test early. - eschall

Well, and there you have it. Just about everyone agrees, charting will help you figure out what is going on, but it can lead to increased stress and obsessing and sometimes, extreme bladder discomfort. At the end of the day, or should i say beginning of the morning, it is a personal decision to chart or not to chart, but whatever you decide, please, don't forget rule #4.

in honor of my attempt at not cursing...

If you are TTC, having trouble TTC, or especially if you have had a pregnancy loss, the message boards on thebump.com are a great resource and system of support (brought to you by the same folks who brought you theknot to help you plan your wedding and thenest to help you decorate your first home).

Today's entry is inspired by bumpie someflower6:

"in honor of my attempt at not cursing

my parents are over, and they're fighting. they're visiting from florida, i haven't seen them in a few weeks, we should be having a nice time bonding and catching up and i'm hiding out in a spare bedroom-- IN MY HOUSE-- while they argue downstairs.

wth. either stfu or gtfo.

ffs, i'm still mourning over here...."

someflower6 lost her peanut at 10w2d. She will always remember that baby, and I know that years from now, when I think back on the little one I lost, I will remember her and her baby too, as well as the babies of the many other women who I met on thebump miscarriage/pregnancy loss board when I didn't have anyone else to talk to. [Side bar: Yes, I know. I said baby, not fetus, and yes, I know, I am pro choice. But that is a topic for another day. Today, is about schooling you on how to behave proper.]

Having trouble conceiving and having a loss are certainly not the same thing, but these ladies have a lot in common--We are all scared that we may not be able to have a H&H baby no matter how hard we try or how long we wait. We are sad and frustrated. Even though there are so many of us out there, we feel alone because often times our friends and family can't relate and may not realize how difficult and emotional it can be. The fact that those closest to us may not understand or may try to minimize how bad things are, even though it is with the best of intentions, makes the woman who is struggling to have a baby and the woman who just had a loss feel isolated and alone.

I know what you are thinking--aren't these topics personal? Won't she feel awkward and uncomfortable if I bring it up? Listen to me people--you didn't feel awkward buying her skanky lingerie for her shower, you weren't uncomfortable discussing your last pap or your last random fling, and, you didn't bat an eye lash before asking her when they were going to start popping out kids. Now, when she needs a friend and support, is not the time to start taking the decorum high ground! (BTW, for a look into the when are you going to get pregnant question, and just some of the reasons not to ask it, check out this article by Linda M. McCloud.)

So, FFS people, if you know someone who is going through this, ask them how they are doing. Don't avoid talking about it because you are afraid it will be too awkward. And when you talk to her, don't say dismissive things like, don't worry, it'll be ok, but instead, try: I can't really imagine what you are going through (unless you actually have been through it, in which case, you probably don't need this lecture) but I hope that some how things will work out for you. And if you can't do that, stfu AND gtho!

P.S. If you can't figure out what the acronyms in this post stand for, I cannot help you.

P.P.S. For another site on how to address a pregnancy loss, check out someflower6's website.

FTTA!

Welcome and FTTA!

I am starting this blog at what I hope is near the end of my TTC journey. I haven’t been on this path as long as some, but as I spent hours talking to my friend Kat (comparing notes, charts, results from doctor’s visits, basically every thing but our CM) and browsing message boards in which girls discuss their TTC stories, something occurred to me.

There are women all over the place watching their friends get easily (or worse – accidentally *shuddering*) KU. They put on happy faces, brave the dreaded Babies ‘R Us to buy presents, attend baby showers, ooh and ahh at their friend’s ultrasounds. And then, they all go home and bawl their eyes out.

Sure, these ladies can comfort themselves with ice cream and thoughts about how at least they can still drink beer and coffee and go out for sushi, but the truth is, we all are just dying to give that stuff up and get round and fat and to have morning sickness and swollen feet and bad skin. We may say that we’re in no hurry, or that we are really truly happy for DH’s friend who somehow didn’t realize that unprotected sex could get his 21 year old girlfriend of 6 months pregnant, but we’d give up all the delicious spicy tuna rolls in the world to be able to have it happen to us.

What ladies like us need is a voice and some recognition. We need a Girlfriend’s Guide to Trying Desperately to Conceive, and everyone that got pregnant the first time they tried, should be forced to read it. I would totally write a book and try to make some money off of it myself, but I have AF to wait for, my BBT to take, my CP and CM to check, my FMU to gather for my OPK, the BD to do, my DPO to count, my FMU to gather for my HPT, AND THEN, once I get my BFN again this month, I have to do it all over again. With all that going on, I figured a blog would have to do.

(By the way, for a guide to the many TTC acronyms, check out here or here).